S.S.D.D

*A shiny new donkey for the first person who tells me what the tittle is from and what it is*

We'll it seems like all over blogger people are starting off posts with "it's been so long since I blogged" so that makes me feel a bit better about me neglecting my readers like I have been doing, or at least I think I have been doing.

Some what of a link to my previous blog here, I think - I didn't actually look back and see - just in case I'll say it now, I'm pretty sure that during 2009 I learned a lot about myself and my flaws and such I want to work on them. I am just here to say that I am already failing on one of the major ones as I found myself making the exact same moves on the metaphorical chess board that is life - I'm not too sure how life is like chess but yeah you get it don't you? - anyways, I'm doing the same things that I always do even though I know they're just the complete opposite of what needs to be done.

This would be an easy fix if it were something I had more control over but, of course, the only control I have over this is an option that I wouldn't even consider as it would take people, who I care very dearly about, away from me. I know what y'all are thinking now, it's a mix of "it can't be that bad, I'm sure" or "Wow dude, you're fucked" and honestly, the latter of the two is the correct response. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to break this curse and that just fucking kills me, even if the people change over time, I will still get the same problem happening. I can only hope that once it actually goes well and all I wont fuck it up, knowing my luck I probably will though.

P.S - I haven't actually talked about this to anyone so none of you are really going to know about it unless you know me very well and have managed to pick it from what was given. I'll be fine with telling anyone who asks about it but just be sure it's over a more private medium.
Thank you all very much for reading.